The Mobile Coma

There are many things we see almost on a daily basis here in Beijing.  Bicyclists and pedestrians nearly getting hit by cars or buses, lovey-dovey couples following a different-than-American standard for PDA on the subways, and of course little infants with bare-bottomed pants designed for easy public urination.

Well, probably one of the most common things you'll see in Beijing is a human being with their head down ignoring the world around them by getting lost in whatever their mobile phone or iPod has to offer them at that moment:

Now, you might be thinking, "Americans are like this, too."  And you'd probably be right.

However, Chinese people tend to be a lot less out-going and conversational in public settings.  Of course there are exceptions, but for the most part you'd be able to tell if there are any foreigners in your subway car just by listening to the amount of conversation.

Which makes the mobile-phone coma all the more noticeable (Chinese people say "mobile phone" much more than "cell phone," and some of my students didn't even know what I meant by "cell phone").

All in all, when you come to Beijing, watch where you're going and watch your step....you never know when you might accidentally run into someone lost in another, digitally-induced world.

(And yes, I was that creepy guy taking pictures of other people on the subway.)




 

Chinglish of the Week #6

One of my favorite new discoveries in the realm of cuisine and beverages is Chinese 'Milk Tea.'  Milk Tea is a wonderful drink that is essentially the combination of hot chocolate and tea, with a little milk flavor added.  You can even get big tapioca balls called "zhen zhu" added to the bottom.

At first, I wasn't sure what to think of Chinese Milk Tea.  In the beginning it kind of tasted like watered-down hot chocolate, but then for a while it tasted like chocolate-flavored tea.  My mind just wasn't able to classify the taste.

Well, considering that Milk Tea can also come in a wide variety of flavors, eventually my mind had to create space for a new classification simply called 'Milk Tea.'  And it is delicious.

Not only that, but apparently there are people dedicated to making sure that each individual cup tastes delicious:

So go out and enjoy a wonderful cup of Milk Tea.....all while knowing that you weren't the only one to enjoy it.   :)




 

Subtle Evidences of Christianity

Before coming over to China we were told to be very careful with what we texted and emailed because the government could screen and flag any Christian jargon we used.  This and a few other things we heard from different people made me a little nervous when it came to the government squashing any mission efforts that I or any of the others Friends of China people might attempt.

But little did I know, there are some funny little Christian themes, ideas, and even jargon being used throughout Beijing....some that the gov't obviously knows about, and others that I don't think any average Chinese person knows about.

For example, this huge Christmas tree outside the very large, gov't-approved Christian church one subway stop away from our apartment is very obvious:

As are the Christmas decorations that have popped up in every Starbucks:

(side note: At first I thought the "Let's Merry" t-shirt worn by every Starbucks employee was some good Chinglish, but after seeing that all of the other English in Starbucks was perfect, I decided to give the multi-billion dollar company the benefit of the doubt.)

However, some things I've seen are a little more subtle, like this decoration Heather and I saw at a coffee shop back in October (we're pretty sure they didn't realize it was only meant to be a Christmas decoration):

There are also some ads near the subway for a website (I think a deal-finding site) called "The Gate," where they always have some sort of picture with this angel on it, and sometimes with the angel standing beside the Heavenly Gates:

And sometimes there are things that go almost completely unnoticed by the average Beijinger, like this notebook I saw one of my students using in class:

The student had no idea what "Gospel" meant.

So, as you can see, God has planted a little bit of imagery and jargon here in China.  

Some might say it's all just a coincidence and simply a result of the influence of the American culture.

Others might say that God is using the American culture to set the foundation for something pretty amazing to (continue to) happen in a country thirsty for the Truth.

You can judge for yourself, I guess.

    

  

The Running Subway Video Ad

Before coming to Beijing, I had never ridden the subway.  But now, I take the subway almost every single day.

And one of the coolest things I get see on the subway, besides people falling asleep on complete strangers' shoulders, is what I have just now coined the "running subway video advertisement."

I don't think anyone would argue that marketing has gotten pretty crazy these days.  It seems like companies will market their products or brand names wherever it's humanly possible.  (I even remember some years back when the movie 'Spiderman 2' was almost going to put an advertisement on 2nd base at the MLB All-Star Game.)  And the subway station is certainly not exempt from this craziness.

There are ads everywhere in the subway.  On the walls, on the doors, around the escalators, on the handrail of the escalators, on the handlebars inside the subway cars, etc., etc.  The only logical place that wouldn't have an advertisement is along the walls of the subway tunnels, because no one could possibly read them as the car was moving at full speed.

Well, think again.

Someone was smart enough to build something that would run along the walls of the tunnels and play video that would travel the same speed as the high-speed subway cars.  I've uploaded a few different ads to show you what I mean...

This one features a reflection cameo from two ridiculously good-looking people:

This ad is kind of boring, but check out the dude sleeping:

This one is almost seizure-inducing:

This ad starts halfway into the uploaded video, so feel free to skip ahead.  It's a movie preview, but sadly it's of a new Hugh Jackman movie that appears to feature giant robots fighting each other in boxing rings....(really, Hugh?):

Pretty cool, huh?  The best running video subway ad I've ever seen was a movie preview for a Chinese Jet Li movie, and who doesn't like watching Jet Li fight for 15 seconds while crammed in a subway car with 50 of your closest Chinese strangers.

Now if I could only find a way to project 3-D ads from the walls on the inside of the subway cars then I'd be a rich man.




 

Random Food Post

Every now and then I might make a post that shows a handful of pictures of some random foods I've eaten here in Beijing.  So, without further ado....

This one isn't THAT big of a deal, but I've never seen YELLOW watermelon before.  The taste?  Exactly like red watermelon.

These are four of my university students who wanted to treat me to a nice Chinese dinner.  We went to a "chuan" restaurant (pronounced "chuar" in Beijing).  Chuar is basically BBQ.  In a nutshell you stab hunks of meat with a stick and grill it.  We had "niu rou" (beef), "yang rou" (lamb), and chicken wings (I don't know the Chinese for that), along with other vegetables such as chopped tomatoes covered in sugar and "hei mu er" (a black squishy fungus with no taste by itself, but the vinaigrette they put on it is awesome).  All in all, a delicious meal!

This is a picture from when I went out with Micah and his Korean friend to a Korean grill restaurant.  We again had chuar, only this time it was squid chuar!  We also had soup that I believe was called "Army soup" because it was eaten by U.S. Army soldiers when they were in Korea.  It consisted of cut-up hotdogs and ramen noodles in a spicy red broth.  We also ate an awesome egg-bake, which you can see under the chuar.

And this one may have been the strangest thing I have eaten so far, simply because it boggles my mind why anyone would want to eat it outside of losing a bet.  This dish is 100-year-old eggs.  Yep, eggs that have been around for so long that they have turned black.  And you eat them.  100-year-old eggs.  Eating 100-year-old eggs.

So, those are some quick, random foods I've eaten in this crazy city called Beijing.

   

Chinglish of the Week #5 - My Walmart T-Shirt

The Chinese Walmart is a beautiful thing.  You can buy a wide variety of products ranging from everyday items such as soap and toilet paper, to not-so-everyday items such as a box of dried sea cucumbers that you're supposed to add to various foods and/or drinks that apparently costs 7,000 yuan (over $1000).  I know, it's crazy.

There are also so many products with Chinglish on them that I think I have enough Chinglish of the Week material for the next ten years.

But none of the other Chinglish phrases that I will ever find in the Chinese Walmart will compare to this T-shirt I found on the clearance rack:

If you guessed that the last line of that T-shirt was going read "Edward Scissorhands" I will buy you one box of dried sea cucumbers.

The thing that caught my eye when I grabbed it from the rack was the word "Miserable" because I thought to myself, "Boy, even for all the crazy Chinglish I see on T-shirts in Beijing I've never seen one with such a depressing word."  Little did I know what was awaiting me with the last line.

(Also, if you missed it, the letters in black read: "Fairy Tales About Love And HumaM Kature."  And I'm guessing the top two words are in a different language.  But maybe not.)

So this post is dedicated to you, Mr. Scissorhands.

How miserable, aestheticism, sincere, and pure it is that China has remembered your 21-year-old fairy-tale.




 

Cats in Heat

Yep, you read it correctly, the title of this post is "Cats in Heat."  Why?  Because I'm going to talk about cats in heat, that's why.

Why in the world would I talk about cats in heat on my China blog?  Well, first because there are stray cats all over Beijing.  Seriously, all over Beijing.  Heather and I have had stray cats run by us in the Temple of Heaven park grounds, we've seen them just chillin' out on a cliff above the tiger pen at the Beijing Zoo, and we have stray cats running all around our apartment village.

And this is why I am talking to you about cats in heat.  See, growing up we had cats as pets, and sometimes we had female cats who weren't spayed quite yet (Dr. Seuss, and Rachel Korb, would be proud of that line).  I also personally owned the most annoying cat-in-heat ever, a little, normally darling cat named Mulva (yes, Mulva.....or wait, Delores!!!! (that's a Seinfeld joke)).

So, this morning at 4:41am I was woken up by a sound not all that unfamiliar.  Only it wasn't just one cat....it was two.  I took video of it, but don't worry, it's actually only sound because it was so dark outside all you could do was hear it.....

To be honest, while I was lying in bed I thought the sound of the second cat was actually being made by an old Chinese man bantering back and forth as a way to get the cat to run away so he could go back to sleep.

Just wishful thinking, I guess.

So if there are any veterinarians who would like to visit Beijing for a few days....

Heather and I (and our whole apartment building) would appreciate it!




   

Squid Jerky

I love food.  I will never deny that fact.  And one of the coolest things about having Bible studies in China (besides the obvious spiritual nourishment) is that afterwards everyone munches on some pretty nice grub as a way of having some easy conversation and fellowship time.

Well, after one study, a girl brought some food to share with everyone and was passing it around in a sandwich baggie.  It looked very interesting and had a slight fishy smell.

Then I did what you're told never to do in China when it comes to food.....I asked what it was.  She said it was dried squid meat with some added flavoring/seasoning, and that she had brought it back from her home town over the weekend.

It was very good.

Once I found out it was basically squid jerky, I started taking pictures of it as proof that I had eaten such a thing, and they laughed at me a bit.  Then, because Chinese people are the most generous people in the world, they told me to take the baggie home with me and finish the bag.  

I didn't argue with them.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm, squid jerky.

  

Our Apartment

After getting married, Heather and I moved into our first apartment.  Here it is in all its beauty:

If you look closely you can see that the left arm of our couch is missing.  In China you are not allowed to remove ANY of the furniture, appliances, etc. from the apartments without paying for it in the end.  A few things are falling apart, but once I can get my hands on a drill and some screws everything will be right as rain.  Also, notice the blue/gold/yellow curtains...their ugliness cannot be truly seen unless in person.  But hey, they do their job.

Yes, that is every man's dream:  a refrigerator in the living room.  Our kitchen is so small that we have elected to keep our cold food within arm's reach.  The poster on the right is a map of YuanMingYuan (The Old Summer Palace) where Heather and I got married.

Before moving in, many people were asking us, "When do you want us to come over and help paint the walls?"  We didn't truly understand why until we saw the blue and orange with our own eyes.  The flash on my camera added a white haze to these pics, so it's more difficult to see the colors in all their horrendousness (yep, I made up a word).

This is our water machine.  Every home in China needs one because the water from the tap here is unsafe to drink.  In order to get more water you have to call the local water guy, who only speaks Chinese.  So when we need water I'll call the guy up and say, "Wo men yao shui," which simply means, "We want water."  Then I attempt to pronounce our building and room number and he comes with a full jug.  Also, in China you drink hot water, not cold water, so the pink spout gets used far more often than the blue one.

This shelf was made by our friend, Jon.  It displays our Great Wall candy dish, a wedding photo, our Twin Lotus Bowls (see earlier post for more info), our awesome chess set from Heather's sister, Karen, and a cool/cheap Chinese hat I bought at the Forbidden City.  (It also now displays a 3D wood puzzle of the Temple of Heaven that I plan on showing in a later post.)  All of that is accented by our mounted moose hat I bought in Alaska this summer.

This is our kitchen.  We have yet to use the stove.  That electrical looking box above the sink is the box that controls our hot water for the kitchen sink and the shower.  Yes, that is an electrical cord running down the left side of the sink in the top picture.

This is our wondrous bathroom.  See that little garbage can next to the toilet?  Yep, that holds used toilet paper.  In China, you don't flush your used toilet paper because the pipes can't handle it or something.  I went out and bought a covered garbage can for obvious reasons.  

And yes, that is our shower head hanging from the light fixture and taped to the wall.  Our whole bathroom is our shower, so the floor is wet for a while after showering.  

And that little blue shelf holding our contact solution and toothpaste/brushes is actually a kitchen knife holder I found at Walmart.  The reason you see it in both on the wall and on top of the toilet is because the hooks that hold it up lose their stickiness (because of the showering thing) and we have to buy more hooks.

Here is our bedroom.  The curtains, as you can see, look much nicer because we got them as a gift (plus they're Vikings purple, so Heather really loves them :) ).  That back door leads out to our very own little porch....which we have yet to clean because it is outright filthy from Beijing dirt and dust.

So, that's where we're livin'.  Pretty nice digs for our first apartment, huh?

  

Chinglish of the Week #4 - Potty Humor

I am 27 years old.  I know that.  However, many of the things I see in the bathrooms in Beijing just flat out make me laugh like I did when I was 8 years old.


This one is posted outside the stall in the Chinese Walmart:

Mmm, that piece of of advice DOES make me feel all warm inside.  And this next one from the Summer Palace actually isn't that bad, not to mention it's very practical:

However, this one from the Beijing Zoo was created by a much lazier (or simply more succinct) person:

The next couple pics are from a location far more well-known than the Summer Palace and the Beijing Zoo:  our bathroom.

I bought this awesome toilet paper holder at the nearby grocery store so Heather and I didn't have to remove our TP roll from the bathroom every time we showered (because our whole bathroom is technically our shower....I plan to explain more in later post).  It's always a great reminder every time nature calls (or as one of my university students tried explaining to me in the middle of class one time, "Nature is calling me.").  And who doesn't appreciate a nice life-lesson from their toilet paper holder every once in a while?

The last one is from the house of a friend of ours.  She bought it online:

Adding the sense of accomplishment after each trip to the John?.....not needed, but certainly appreciated.  Thank you, toilet seat.